All my life, since i was a young child i have been searching for completeness, for that other part of me that seems to be missing. I knew from a young age that my life long task would be to find my soul mate, that one true person who connects with me, not only on a physical level but a psychic level as well. In my life to date I have truly fallen for 3 women, but only 1 of them has had such a profound connection with me that i cannot truly put into words how the connection is formed. I don’t know if people in this world believe in psychic power, if you can read or feel another person, but i can tell you, i have felt it. I fell for a girl a few years ago, I didn’t even need to be near her and i could feel her feelings, see her in my dreams and know exactly what she was thinking before anyone else. All I knew is that if this girl and I had joined together, we would have been complete. Sadly that never happened, and for various reasons she hated me. But even with her hate for me still strong, i can still see her life as it progresses in my mind. I could tell the day she fell for another and was secretly engaged with another, I even knew the day when i would never see her again. Since that experience I have grown weary of now finding love of my own. Knowing that I had a connection with someone on a level i have never experienced before, does this mean that because she is now gone from my life that my only chance of true happiness with my true soul mate is now over? I don’t know. My quest to find that one special person continues on, and I know in the future I will once again find love, but even if i did find love again, could i have been wrong about who my soul mate is? Perhaps i will love another but inside my soul will always belong to another. Its a tricky and scary prospect. Perhaps she wasn’t my soul mate after all and I will one day find my true soul mate and with any luck be happier than I have ever been before. But in my mind, I suspect I won’t find my true soul mate again in this life time and will be forced to come back to this world once again in a new form, a new person and once again search until death. I believe that when we die and if we haven’t found our soul mate that our soul wonders aimlessly from life to life until we do one day find each other and then ascend to heaven together.
In his dialogue The Symposium, Plato has Aristophanes present a story about soul mates. Aristophanes states that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. He continues that there were three genders: man, woman and the "Androgynous". Each with two sets of genitalia with the Androgynous having both male and female genitalia. The men were children of the sun, the women were children of the earth and the Androgynous were children of the moon, which was born of the sun and earth. It is said that humans had great strength at the time and threatened to conquer the gods. The gods were then faced with the prospect of destroying the humans with lightning as they had done with the Titans but then they would lose the tributes given to the gods by humans. Zeus developed a creative solution by splitting humans in half as punishment for humanity’s pride and doubling the number of humans who would give tribute to the gods. These split humans were in utter misery to the point where they would not eat and would perish so Apollo had sewn them up and reconstituted their bodies with the navel being the only remnant harkening back to their original form. Each human would then only have one set of genitalia and would forever long for his/her other half; the other half of his/her soul. It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken understanding of one another, that they feel unified and would lay with each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that.
I’ve been playing around with different designs for updates to my site in recent months and have already gone through 2 new guestbook designs. I think i like this new one. I designed the whole thing from scratch and it looks pretty snazzy. I’ve now included the ability to add smilies, (you’ll have to know the text input for them), but when they are displayed in the final post they show as icons. I’ve not really added any new pages as such to my site, they are mainly just pages that have been updated. I hope you like my new designs and as always, I will continue to make this site a great experience for all you avid readers.
Posted in Blog
I’ve been hard at work updating my site in the past few weeks and I have fully updated my scary films page with some new more stable code and altered its design a bit. As you can see from the image it now has a scary frame around the player as well as a custom designed player to sit inside it. I have spent many hours designing the new player to fit in with the design of the new buttons on the page. I really hope you all like it. I shall be updating the videos over the next few weeks so their will be plenty of spooky happenings all in one place on the net. I’ve also updated my family videos with a new design also. The links can all be found in the right hand menu.
I recently got a new plant for my room – this is a lovely orange rose that will hopefully grow year in year out. Its a beautiful little thing and the smell from its budding rose heads are glorious. I have two more plants that are growing next to it as well. One is a grapefruit tree which i have been growing from seed and the other is a large green indoor tree which is almost 4ft in height. I have always loved growing things since i was young and these days i tend to grow plants mainly in my room. I feel they give an air of love and clarity to my life. I always joked that because i will never find anyone to love me that my little plants will be my offspring and they will be my gift to the world instead of children. As I get older and still remain single and lonely, I really do believe that more and more. I guess in the future if i do meet anyone, they’ll have to not just take me into their life but my beautiful budding plants too. lol (ok i know that will never happen, I’m too ugly for anyone to want me.)
The Following is only relevant if your phone is rooted. Please take care when doing the following.
Using a swap file in Linux has its own pro’s and con’s. Android was designed to not have a need for swap file because when an app needs to run it will usually remove any redundant apps that are not currently being used in memory. However phones that have a small amount of memory might actually benefit from a swap file. But you will have to take into consideration that when a file is shifted to and from the swap file it may cause a pause in the application you might be using at the time. Also programs will not be cancelled when their run time has come to an end – its perhaps a benefit to use a task killer to keep the memory free of rubbish.
I use a swap file when i am browsing things like Facebook as it seems to actually speed up the phone – but when its just idling i tend to just switch it off. I use Tasker and a small widget to turn the swap memory on and off if and when i need to.
Please note i have only tested this on Android 2.2 (froyo) and I have busybox 1.19.4 installed. Please don’t ask if this stuff will work on your versions of Android as I really don’t know – but you can try with the following to see if it will.
The following can be done in either ADB shell or an onboard Terminal app.
firstly you need to create the swap file – this is done with the following command. And we’re going to call the swap file – well swapfile. This swap file will be 128mb (use your own judgement on swapfile size. I prefer my one big, some people prefer theirs smaller than what their RAM is. Perhaps start off with 32Mb and go from there.
dd if=/dev/zero of=/sdcard/swapfile bs=1024 count=128000
chown root:root /sdcard/swapfile (set the owner of the file – doesn’t work on mine)
chmod 0644 /sdcard/swapfile (set the security on the file)
mkswap /sdcard/swapfile (makes the system know its a swap file)
swapon –p 10 /sdcard/swapfile (this turns on the swap file with a priority of 10)
To turn off the swap file use:
And that is pretty much it. You can find tons of references to this all over the net for more information.
Posted in Blog
Tagged Android, Phone
I’m sending a massive Happy Birthday out to my nephew who turns 3 years old today. I love you lots Riley and make sure you keep wearing your hat.
From uncle Nicholas. xoxoxoxoxox