Today i heard the most horrible news a person could hear and that is the death of a dear friend. Paul Collins was only 30 years old and in his short life had done and experienced things most people could only dream of. I first met Paul back when my sister was on a training course – she befriended him and eventually started dating one of his friends – I liked Paul from the very beginning, he was so open minded and adventurous. In time me and Paul became good friends ourselves and would sit for hours just talking. Paul first introduced me to Cigars which i really enjoyed. We would often just wonder off and talk or sit at the pub. As time went on i started to see Paul as a brother to me and i loved him very much. I remember one instance where we went to Wales with my sister and Steve – we kind of lagged behind near the end of our very long walk, just talking as we did best. That night we slept in the same room – i was half expecting him to snore or watch TV – but he was just as shattered and fell asleep. Since then we had gone to the pub quiet a lot. When he went off for his tour of Australia and Asia, i actually really missed him and we tried to keep in contact on his website and via email. After he got back though things in his life started to turn dark as he became very depressed and eventually placed himself in a hospital – the one thing i remember him saying when he got out was – I should go and stay at the hospital too as it was a laugh. Sadly, over a year on, I’m not laughing – I found out today he had committed suicide whilst there. Its funny that only a week ago he actually broke out from there and was on the run – i half expected him to come around and i know i shouldn’t – but i had a few cans of larger and some cigars ready in case he did. I actually feel terrible because only 4 months ago he was emailing me to go out for a drink, yet i was so flat broke i never went – i feel that if i had gone, perhaps this might not have happened as i think he truly wanted his friends there! :’(

Paul was a loving and adventurous friend and i am going to miss him ever so much i hope you have finally found peace my dear friend. I will keep an eye out for you though, i have a feeling that you might visit some day in the future from heaven and invite me up for a laugh – i might not actually go, but I’ll certainly have a pint of Stella and a cigar waiting for you my friend :’(

Good Bye my dear friend :’( you will be so missed :’( You truly were the best friend anyone could have!